REMEMBERING A MOM

Anniversaries happen in our lives. Good ones like a wedding. Happy ones like a great vacation. Remembering the day someone died let's us keep the good memories. 17 years ago my mother-in-law died from cancer. She will always be missed by my husband and children. She was a good person, a loving mother and a caring Nonna.

NANA SAYS MAKES FAMILY MEAL TIME A PRIORITY!

Our lives can become too busy where we lose focus on our priorities. Children need stability! Slowing down and making time for family time is important. Thanksgiving dinner was such an event! On special occasions the family all sits at one table at the same time. Children are expected to finish their meal before running off to play. Actually the family dinner table can be used on a regular basis to get everyone together, no matter how briefly. Sometimes each parent may arrive home at a different time so it can be tricky to accomplish. One of my grandchildren eats then wants to sit with his Daddy to eat again with him. Is the little guy telling us something that is important? The old custom of breaking bread together goes back to the dawn of time. 15-30 minutes would be all it would take in a busy day to try to eat together. Parents role modelling eating healthy food-go figure what a concept! Every generation has had its share of busy! Modern parents are no different than other generations. There are more time saving gadgets and the proverbial cell phone can alert the parent on the way home to pick up some additional food items! Actually should be time savers! The slow cooker has evolved into a wonderful way to have dinner ready on arrival home. I still have one and had used my original one for many meals when the children were small! The breakfast and dinner table meals are a wonderful way to halt the race allowing for some time to be a family. Remember-was one of your priorities to be a family and share family time together! On a daily basis, it can be a simple small answer-the family meal together!

NANA SAYS PARENT-TEACHER INTERVIEWS CAN BE POSITIVE

When our little children go to school, there is the anxiety of wondering if the child will be a good student, a well behaved student or the class trouble maker. There is always a relief for most parents that their child is doing okay. Of course there are some parents that are disappointed their children have not been recommended for Harvard or Oxford at age 4. What my little genius is just doing okay? Academics and social development are both important. The solid B student can still grow up to have a fine life. If a child is struggling in a subject, there is an opportunity to work positively on the knowledge needed for that subject at home and school. At the parent-teacher interview there can be a positive diaglogue about your child- strengths and weaknesses- areas to improve. Believe or not your perfect little boy or girl can be normal! Yes and can work on some areas of improvement! Just like the real world! Your first job- a boss will point out your areas for improvement! Creating a good relationship between home and school is vital for the family daily routines. School phobias are not pretty! So a child that likes the teacher, the school, the friends- well is more important than A plusses! A parent's relationship with the teacher goes a long way! If there is a challenge on a matter, for example, approach the teacher with the facts, be positive and respectful. Don't start a dialogue with- "the problem with education today"! Your discussion should focus on your child and the situation that brings you to the table. Remember one half of all education belongs to the home! There need to be opportunities to read, learn math, new skills and exercise as well as having fun! The teacher is your partner- not the one to do the parenting- that is your job! So at your parent-teacher interviews- be a partner!

PATIENCE IS A TOUGH VIRTUE

Waiting to capture the image you want takes patience.The above picture took 7 photos to obtain the one I wanted. Patience with people or events in our lives take strength of character. It can be difficult to trust the process presented in front of us. To be able to wait! Patiently! Sometimes we need to leave or walk away from a situation! To think! Regroup! The Therapist works with the client's issues and the insight that can be a struggle to occur. The parent gives the child time to learn at his/her pace. The teacher presents material for the class to grasp collectively but some individuals do need more time! Patience- a virtue! A tough one!

WHAT RESULTS WOULD YOUR RIPPLES BRING?

We all can throw a rock in the water and watch the ring of ripples.The bigger the rock, the bigger the splash! Or speed in a boat and the wash from it can move out and make waves! Ever been in a canoe when a speed boat goes by and get rocked! The smart canoeist knows to steer into the wave. But do you think about you as the rock or the wave and the impact you may make in life or in other people's lives! What would your ripples in the water make? The teacher may have a student return and thank for the knowledge imparted or to tell you were the worst teacher ever! The child may love the parent who raised him or her or want to flee because of the bad parenting! Friends may stop calling because your ripples are toxic or there are lifelong friends that wish they could see you more. If I thought about my ripples, I do have several answers. My children tell me I am a good mother and my grandchildren seem to like me! There have been patients or clients or families I have encountered years later that approach with fondness.  But I do think of things I have done and wish I had done differently- should I worry about those ripples! A harsh word! Actions untaken! Avoiding a conflict! Walking away from an opportunity! Life's ripples come with consequences! We all accept the consequences of our actions- no matter how well intended! So do we jump in the water and continue to make ripples or do we stand safely on the shore afraid to act! What the hell! Life is too short, I think I will jump in and make some more ripples! What are you going to do?