NANA SAYS NOT LISTENING IS AN UNIVERSAL PROBLEM

How many times do we use the phrase? Are you listening to me? Children and adults alike do not listen. Or we have selective listening. Just ask any parent when he/she whispers something to someone the child's ears perk up. Learning to tune out happens at a young age. If not interested, just don't care. Now with the gadgets in a hand there is someone or something else that takes our interest. So how to counteract the not listening. Maybe say it once and let the child suffer the consequences. My trick to colleagues who seem disinterested in what I need to tell them clinically-I email and copy the manager. Then there is proof it was done. In all fairness, yes some people just talk a lot but often there is information that needs to be shared. Parents need to communicate with children, spouses and caregivers. Writing it down is good. Calendars with information. But paying attention and respecting another person when talking is important too. How often in a middle of a conversation does someone interrupt? Well too often. Remember if you want someone to listen to you, you must learn to listen back. Giving your full attention to a little child is important. Look at the child. Make eye contact. Get down to their level. Listening is one thing. Teenagers will tell us things in the middle of something else. Paying attention takes real effort.  Then the next deeper issue of actually hearing at all levels what the person has said. A good therapist knows how to listen and to hear. Unfortunately the average person can have trouble with both! So are you listening?

WHAT RESULTS WOULD YOUR RIPPLES BRING?

We all can throw a rock in the water and watch the ring of ripples.The bigger the rock, the bigger the splash! Or speed in a boat and the wash from it can move out and make waves! Ever been in a canoe when a speed boat goes by and get rocked! The smart canoeist knows to steer into the wave. But do you think about you as the rock or the wave and the impact you may make in life or in other people's lives! What would your ripples in the water make? The teacher may have a student return and thank for the knowledge imparted or to tell you were the worst teacher ever! The child may love the parent who raised him or her or want to flee because of the bad parenting! Friends may stop calling because your ripples are toxic or there are lifelong friends that wish they could see you more. If I thought about my ripples, I do have several answers. My children tell me I am a good mother and my grandchildren seem to like me! There have been patients or clients or families I have encountered years later that approach with fondness.  But I do think of things I have done and wish I had done differently- should I worry about those ripples! A harsh word! Actions untaken! Avoiding a conflict! Walking away from an opportunity! Life's ripples come with consequences! We all accept the consequences of our actions- no matter how well intended! So do we jump in the water and continue to make ripples or do we stand safely on the shore afraid to act! What the hell! Life is too short, I think I will jump in and make some more ripples! What are you going to do?