NANA SAYS RESILIENCE IS A GOOD THING

No matter how much we try to protect children, life happens. Sometimes life is tough. Scratched knees. Bumped heads and little boo boos can be handled. Larger life events like divorce, the loss of a loved one- if a parent it is huge and natural disasters. Changing schools can be tough. Understanding for each child there could be common solutions but also the unique characteristics of that child. I hate hearing- little Johnny never cries! Crying is actually good for the soul. There are sad moments in life where it is just fine to cry. It is just fine to be sad, mad, glad, or whatever feeling. Helping children to face those problems in life with all the feelings that present is an adult's challenge. Helping children to get back up on their two feet and go forward is even more challenging. The best solution is to be a good role model. If as a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle you can help the child with your fortitude it is great. But if you have huge chips on your shoulders, the children around you learn to have a pity party. If you share your struggles and how they were taken and what you did to get back on your feet children learn life's lessons. It is okay to say no one ever has to like what is happening to them. The answer when asked- how are you feeling, does not have to be- okay. As a clinician, when given this answer I usually say you do not have to be okay. Let's look at what can help in this difficult situation. Another thing not to say- I know how you are feeling. If you have not dealt with the same situation, you honestly do  not know how the person is feeling. So a good answer- do you want to share how you are feeling. With children, drawing a picture, playing a game, using music can be a way to share their feelings. Even adults may struggle with words. Pay attention to sleep. Dreams often reveal challenges faced. Child's nightmares are a good clue to feelings. Resilience let's us get back up and face life. Builds character. Letting the child know there will be ups and downs in life. Experience teaches us how to deal with the next bad experience. Sometimes just knowing- this too shall pass can be a mantra for many people. Like Scarlett O'Hara- tomorrow is another day! So get through today, and hopefully tomorrow will be some new light. What do you use to be resilient? How do you get through your struggles? What have you taught the children around you?