RESILIENCY-WHERE DOES IT COME FROM

I have written periodically about resiliency. The dictionary tells us it means readily recovering from shock, depression, otherwise being buoyant-able to keep afloat or rise to the top like a liquid. The question- why do some people have more resiliency than others? Adversity kicks a person in the gut. Not everyone recovers. Some people can become the walking dead. Depressed, drugs, drinking and not recovering. Post-traumatic stress! Clinical depression! Adverse events leave scars but some do find a way to get up and get going again! There are so many sayings- when the going gets tough, the tough get going! So easy to say but harder to do. Allowing a time of grief and reconfiguring let's us move to the next steps in our lives. Resiliency is not for everyone. Sometimes it is easier to retreat and say to hell with the world! People in their middle age laid off from a dream job may never find the dream job again. Divorce, death, health issues are further kicks in the gut. The more adverse events faced, does it become harder to bounce back from them! Sometimes just getting up and putting one foot in front of the other. Going through a week with goals and a purpose to get up in the morning, is that resiliency? Should we judge others if they are not as resilient as we are? Think not! My children tell me I am a happy person- because I chose to be. There have been many areas of my life that have been adverse. Family, business, work, loss of loved ones- but to keep going means pulling deep inside and just do it! When the negative thoughts occur, I picture a bridge and a running river- water under the bridge, hoping it will wash away the bad and perhaps bring some solutions to continue with positive living. But there are days, I like my own quiet and not the negativity of others. Resiliency works better when surrounded by like people. Sometimes for me, just people my own age- but those without all the materialistic goals of the younger crowd and the obsession with having a wrinkle or two and having to look younger! Knowing that life does go on and this too may pass. If it does not, then oh well, just deal with it. Resiliency- a huge topic and lots of thoughts! What do you think? Do you have your own version of resiliency? Can it be as individual as the people in it?

NANA SAYS HOW DO WE TEACH RESILIENCE IN CHILDREN

Reading a short article recently by Michelle Horton on helping children through traumatic events, the concept of resilience was discussed. As parents and grandparents we can not protect our children from traumatic situations. Life happens. Helping children to navigate their concerns helps. The experts say good parenting that includes empathy, unconditional love and honest acceptance are key factors. Parents and grandparents and other family members like close aunts or uncles must model resiliency. Check out your library or bookstore for books on the subject if you need more reading. As a professional social worker being available in crisis situations for individuals and families, providing guidance on next steps and where to go for further help, can be first steps in setting up resiliency. People can become stuck in their grief or misfortunes in life. How to navigate from those situations to positive living and learn from the situations. Sometimes being in a hole teaches us we do not want to be there for very long. Allowing all feelings from sad to mad to glad can be raging simultaneously. For example, if a child loses a parent at a young age, the parent has been lost for the lifetime. So be available at different times of the person's life as grief can resurface periodically. Like at a graduation, a wedding or a first baby! Resiliency is a huge topic so I will write more at another time.