NANA SAYS COLLEGE AND UNIVERSITY STUDENTS BRING MIXED EMOTIONS AS THEY LEAVE HOME

Little ones return to school next week. Big ones have packed up and headed off to college and university campuses across the country. For many it is the first time to live away from home. It is the first time Mommy will not be there to pick up your clothes or give all the reminders necessary for daily living. Of course, all those kids should have learnt those lessons years ago and carried some responsibility at home but one should not be surprised that many have not. If parents have nannies and cleaning ladies then some children have not been very responsible for their own stuff. So living in a dorm with others and having to carry one's weight may bring some shock value to it. Parents are glad their children have been accepted and reached this important milestone in their lives but the house can feel empty. There is that sense life has really changed. Interesting that it happens in Fall. If seasons are symbolic of life, many parents have reached 40 and older so are middle aged-Fall. Life transitions bring mixed emotions. The view that a piece of life is gone. The cohesive family group has been altered. Even though those kids ebb and flow back into the family for the next 4 years or more- believe me life has changed. Young adults. Can they carry their weight? Do they have enough responsibility to make it work? Parents you are off the hook. If they screw up, they take the blame. Under 18, maybe parents can be blamed but over 18, children carry the ownership of their mistakes. So what is the message here, teach your children well from the young ages. Teach and yes role model responsible behaviour. Let children make some mistakes to learn from them. Children away from home need to be on an assigned money plan too. Most students first year have some sort of meal plan  in their residence so can be well fed. In the next years, they often want to live off campus so supplying food rather than just money helps. There are only so many pizzas one can eat! Try not to rescue! Unless you have huge deep pockets! Already paying for tuition, books, a new computer, the stuff for daily living like linen and residence costs- the bill is big. Yes lots of students pay for part of the expenses but most responsible parents who believe in education pay for as much as they can. Another emotion, well no southern trips for awhile. When my younger daughter was away at university, she bought my husband a tee shirt- My daughter and my money went to Western! How true! Yes life has changed- hopefully a good new start1 A happy one for the family. If lucky, like my kid did check out all those little bursaries and scholarships, it really helps with the cost too! They do come home, usually the first time is Thanksgiving then Christmas, reading week etc. The year is a short one- just 8 months. So parents deal with your emotions! It is a reminder too of how your life is changing and you are growing older. Learning to have an adult child brings a new degree of parenting. Oh fodder for another post I think. Here's to the new school year!