FAMILY SUPPORT UNCONDITIONALLY-NOT AS EASY AS IT SEEMS

 There are family members that step up.

There are family members that show up.

Then there are those that talk but do not do the walk.

Fortunately, my two girls have always stepped up.

However in my work as a Social Worker there would be family members that were amazing and those that just complained.

In some cultures the daughters carry the load while the sons get to be sons with little work.

When a daughter was the usual caregiver, I suggested she give her brothers some duties. But her response I have always done it. Not the point. If for example, the loved one lives with the daughter then the sons could give their sister a night or several hours off. The sister could go out, shop and have time to be out of the home without worrying about the loved one.

Since some friends are more like family, asking for support from them is okay too.

So unconditional support is not always easy, is it? It can be a little fuzzy! 

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NANA SAYS YOUNG FAMILIES NEED SUPPORT

With an addition of a baby in any young family, the parents can benefit from extended family support. Helping with meals relieving the parents from all the cooking. Spending time with the new Mom and Dad to give some adult conversation. Sometimes just taking the older children out of the mix is most valuable. A day at the park or the movies. A sleep over at the grandparents. Lots of attention and goodies for the older children. Parental relief for the exhausted parents. Older children often regress to a younger level when a baby is around. They want attention too. So giving it in another location let's everyone win and stay happy and healthy. The mother needs to heal. Having time to relax with the new baby and often just sleep is so vital. A nursing mother has a body that is providing nourishment and does experience the fatigue factor with milk production. With many generations around a family support can be divided between everyone. A day with the cousins at auntie and uncle's house. Play dates with friends. It does not matter how much experience one has with babies, each new baby has his/her own personality and demands. Cuddlers, no put me down, gassy and crying, eating every two hours etc. So adjusting as a family is new too. So is there a young family that could benefit from some support or good old fashioned parental relief. A couple of hours here and there will help immensely. With a new baby in our family, Nana and Granpa will have two rambunctious boys at our house for sleep overs this weekend. Don't worry I have plans for their energy- like helping with some yard work if the weather is nice. Or a trip to the park- walking of course, again to burn some of that energy. My energy- hoping I have enough to keep up with them.